How to Ask for Help Before You Need It | #640

Ecommerce is still a young industry, and it's moving faster than anyone in ecommerce can keep up with. Nobody has all the answers, and the pressure to act as if you do can leave you in a precarious position.

The ecommerce leaders who go furthest aren't the ones who faked it. They're the ones who asked for help early, while they were still learning, and kept doing it the whole way along. The asking was never the weak part of the story, it's what makes them the leaders they are today.

The best operators do three things differently when it comes to asking for help.

In this playbook, based on the most honest conversation we've had on the show with Grant Arnott, who built Power Retail and Click Frenzy, we cover three things ecommerce operators need to know about asking for help before they need it:

• Ask while you're still learning, not just when something has already broken
• Build the network in the calm, because the worst time to find your people is the moment the problem is on fire
• Treat asking for help as a leadership move, because ego is what is holding you back, not the question

This episode touches on depression and some dark moments. If anything here is close to home, Lifeline is on 13 11 14 and Beyond Blue is on 1300 22 4636.

This episode is supported by Shippit. 38% of shoppers buy more with an accurate delivery estimate, yet most retailers fail to deliver on that promise at checkout. Shippit's State of Shipping Report shows you how to fix it. Click here to find the Shippit report.

Connect with Grant Arnott
Explore Power Retail | Click Frenzy,

Transcript

Shipping Promise Gap And Conversions

SPEAKER_00 0:00

How's this for a start? Most retailers deliver three days faster than they advertise at checkout. However, 38% of shoppers are saying an accurate delivery estimate makes them more likely to buy. So that promise gap could be costing you conversions. But it is fixable and it is just one finding in Shippet's State of Shipping report. From AI and Amazon to fuel prices and delivery costs, this report is your blueprint for retail growth in 2026. It is my go-to report every year for delivery and fulfillment. You can download your copy with the link in our show notes.

Leadership Starts With Admitting Unknowns

SPEAKER_00 1:02

Our industry is still really young and it's moving faster than any of us can keep up with properly. Nobody has all of the answers, and you were never meant to. The best leaders that I've come across aren't the ones who had it all figured out. They're the ones who will happily tell you they stumbled into something or had no idea how to do it at first. And they worked it out by asking for help and talking to people who'd been there before them. That's how they learned. That's how they got good. The asking wasn't the weak part of the story. It's the thing that made them great leaders and really successful. Grant Arnett is one of the most respected people in this e-commerce industry. He built Power Retail back in 2010 and Click Frenzy in 2012. And for more than a decade, those businesses were where many of us went to learn how this whole e-commerce thing worked. Power Retail was my little Bible in my early years. However, earlier this year, both businesses went into receivership and Grant came on at Descartes to tell us the whole

Grant Arnett On Collapse And Pressure

SPEAKER_00 2:06

story. It's probably the most honest conversation we've ever had on the show. Part of it is about the help he reached for at his lowest, including a psychologist he now calls the best money he ever spent. I want to be up front that this one touches on depression and some dark moments. If that's close to home for you, Lifeline is on 13, 11, 14, and the support lines are in the show

Depression Warning And The Psychologist

SPEAKER_00 2:28

notes. But let's hear from Grant on how he asked for help to get him through this time.

SPEAKER_02 2:33

The first sort of tell for me was like I was just standing in a cafe one morning, getting my coffee, and then I've just burst into tears. And it's like I've never had anything like that. I couldn't prior to this, could not relate to depression. You know, understood that people got it, but couldn't relate to having had it. I was always super positive. Never had a you know suicidal thought or anything like that before. And I guess it was it was more just it was calculated because it's like, well, it was a solution. And so I knew I was in serious trouble. Like I knew I was, you know, it was going to happen. Like I was going to take my own life. So I went to a psychologist, you know, found one and yeah, best best money I ever spent, and the best thing I did. I think what she did was she validated straight away, like, yeah, you are really high risk here. We need to take care of you.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

I'm so sorry you went through that, man.

SPEAKER_02 3:27

Well, look, it's uh it's done now. And I think you know, it was for several months, and it yeah, it was just a really hard patch, but at the same time I kept kept turning up and and wanting to have a crack at work whilst I was sort of battling this. And again, you know, my team members, they don't know it, but they just gave me such a lift because they were feeding off me. And and I had this new business for me in New Zealand because I hadn't had heaps to do with that transaction. I mean, I I was definitely there, but a lot of it was led by the CEO, and and he was the first one to go over there and meet with them and things like that. So they didn't even know me. And then you know, I came back in as CEO and took my first trip over there, and I was like, I were really hungry for for leadership. That was that was really obvious. And so I was feeding off that. It's like okay, I was needed by these uh staff members. So that that was like okay, snap out of it, get yourself together. But yeah, at the same time, I just had this massive weight of pain and and this this sense of shame and and just this overwhelming feeling of letting my family down was was the worst part of the lot. And then it was just like, you know, again, just knowing that I was just up for punishment every

Business Survival After Board Walkout

SPEAKER_02 4:35

time a meeting came up, that I was like, I didn't know how I was going to get out. And then the I suppose negative positive thing that happened is that you know the board or four of the directors resigned at the start of 2023. And that from a mental health perspective was a good thing from a business, it was put us on death row, but from a mental health perspective, that was you know a real game changer in terms of okay, I'm gonna be getting away from these people. And my psychologist was like, Yeah, well, you had to do that anyway. So that was a real you know positive fact that uh came out of that. You know, suddenly that weight and that sort of immediate desire to step into the road was and then yeah, after that, it's like I think next session, she's like, we're all clear, we can keep seeing each other if if you want. But she sort of noticed that that lift, and you know, that was like, okay, well, time to get back to work and and focus, and and we did, and and look, you know, we gave it an absolute hollish anage over the next couple of years and uh did some good things, you know, changed some new partnerships, but uh it it was just just really tough. And you know, even though the businesses in and of themselves, some of them made money, we never caught up to our interest payments and and we never we were you know in breach of debt debt covenants.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

Yeah, it was the impossible, the impossible catch-up.

Separating Self Worth From Outcomes

SPEAKER_00 5:56

Yeah, did those sessions with your psychiatrist did it do anything around separating your business achievements to your self-worth? Because I think that's something that is probably very interesting for everyone, regardless of whether you're an entrepreneur or you're working in something. Sometimes it's so easy to get wrapped up in what we do day to day and the LinkedIn posts and what looks good on paper versus who you actually are as a human being. Have you been able to separate the two?

SPEAKER_02 6:26

Yeah, I can. Look, it became more of a strategy, if you like. And and this is you know, it's probably you know not something that people know about or or talk about. So the answer is I'm I'm enormously proud of who I am and the contribution to the industry. Enormously proud of that, enormously proud of the the wins we've had, you know. A lot of people I know are impressed, I guess. This will sound arrogant, but you know, they a lot of people look up to me for for what we've achieved and what what I've done. And I know my staff feed off that, you know, they feed off um the fact that, okay, well, what's Grant's next crazy idea going to be? And geez, it sounds freaking weird, but let's back him in and let's let's do it. And you know, all so much of it worked for for so long.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Because did you also get the industry person of the year at the Aureas? Was that around this time? Because I remember being at that and they did the painting on stage and the glitter painting. Oh, yeah, yeah. Was that around this time? That's a really good question. I guess so. Look because uh just uh in terms of the industry recognition. I remember I was there that night and I think you had a standing ovation, you know, from the room, and I'm wondering whether that's going on at the same time because you you are revered and everyone does respect what you've got.

SPEAKER_02 7:39

Yeah, and I love that. I do. I uh it'll sound enormously ungrateful if I don't say that. I I think the sense of shame and I just didn't tip the box of looking after my family, you know. That's the part that kills me. And and they look, they support me, they say, we don't care, Grat. Like it's not my family saying, Yeah, you stuffed this up.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:59

My wife might might have something to say about that.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

No, she doesn't. You're probably tougher on yourself than anyone actually.

SPEAKER_02 8:05

Yeah, yeah, I am, and and I know that as well. But I think honestly, it wasn't a sense of humiliation or anything like that. It was it was literally like, you know, at this point, it's like, I don't know whether these partners are gonna sue me. It was it was, you know, pretty bad. Like they said that was on the card. So it was really just a world I never envisaged myself being in, given that I thought I'd done it the right way initially. We didn't we didn't burn anyone's money at the start. We started from from nothing and just just built it up off talent and organic sweat and hustle and and growth, and and we just had good ideas that that worked, and and that was that was addictive, and I loved I loved that.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

As you heard then, what turned it around for Grant wasn't toughing it out on his own, even though that's often a natural instinct, especially for men. It was the moment he stopped carrying it alone and let people

Ask Early Before The Fire

SPEAKER_00 8:56

in. So there's a few lessons. So we're gonna take a little bit of a different path for this playbook, and we're gonna focus on a soft skill that I think is really important, asking for help. So lesson one, ask while you're still learning, not just when something breaks. Don't wait for something to fall over before you reach out. Most of us only ask for help once there's a fire to put out. The operators who get good fastest are the ones asking questions while they're still learning, before the decision is made, not after it's gone wrong. It costs you nothing and it can save you months. Think about the next thing you're about to take on, your first proper crack at retail media, you're about to explore a new marketing channel, or you're thinking about replatforming the website. The instinct is to go away, read everything, Google it, ask Claude, and quietly work it out on your own so nobody clicks that you weren't sure about the thing that you've never done before. But there's almost always someone two steps ahead of you who'll happily tell you what they do differently. You just have to ask. Sarah Timmerman built Beginning Boutique into one of the most loved fashion brands in the country. And she learned about asking for help early the hard way, very early on.

SPEAKER_04 10:09

Spend $100 a day on Google AdWords or Facebook or whatever and like build up your knowledge. And don't be afraid to reach out to people and ask them questions. People are more willing to give advice than you probably even have time to take their advice.

SPEAKER_00 10:22

So before your next big call, whether it is something as monumental as shutting down your business or it's just about exploring a new ad execution, find the person or the people who have already done it and ask them. What would they do? Not because you can't work it out, because it'll probably save you three months and a lot of money that you don't

Build A Network In Quiet Weeks

SPEAKER_00 10:41

need to spend. Lesson two, build the network before you need it. Here's the bit that most of us get wrong on timing. The worst moment to go looking for people you can lean on is the moment you actually need them. By then, you're picking up the phone, they might be busy, or it might be a cold call, the problem's already on fire, you're not in the right headspace. The work is to build these relationships while everything's calm and there's nothing that you need. It doesn't have to be anything formal. It's a handful of people you trust enough to ring and say, here's what I'm thinking. Am I mad? What am I missing? The ones who, if they don't know the answer, will point you towards someone else who does. That's the network that gets you through the hard weeks, but you build it in the quiet ones. Rosie Collins at Deja Mark made this a deliberate project. And the way she describes the difference it made has stuck with me.

SPEAKER_03 11:32

For the last year, year and a half, I've really lent into building an external network. And that I don't feel lonely at all anymore. There I have a number of people that I feel confident enough to pick up the phone and say, hey, I'm thinking this or I have this type of challenge. This is what I'm thinking. Do you agree, yes or no? And if they if they don't know the answer, they know someone who knows an answer.

SPEAKER_00 11:53

So here's the one to action today. Write down five people you could call about a hard work problem. If you can't get to five, it's not a flaw. It's just something that you need to build. Go to an event, jump in a community, message someone on LinkedIn of whose work that you admire. Start that conversation

Asking For Help As Leadership

SPEAKER_00 12:11

early. And lesson three, when it comes to asking for help in e-commerce, asking for help is a leadership move, not a weakness. This is probably the hardest mindset shift because it's all about how asking makes you look or it makes you feel. A lot of us stay quiet because we reckon putting our hand up signals that we're not up to the job, but it's actually the opposite. Being honest about what you don't know is one of the clearest signs of a great leader, and it pulls people towards you instead of pushing them away. The ego is the hardest part to get over, not the question. In practice, it looks like hiring people who are sharp. In practice, what this looks like is hiring people who are smarter than you in their specific area of expertise and then actually listening to them. It looks like saying, you're right, I was wrong, let's do it your way, and doing that in front of your team. That's not setting yourself up as someone who doesn't have the answers. That's about building authority. Nadi Harpaz from TradeSquare puts this about as plainly as anyone that I have no ego about making decisions or about saying something and then I have to prove I was right.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

Now, sometimes I'm I'm I have a high conviction that I'm right and then I'll fight for it, but extreme open mind and knowing what you don't know is more important that you know what you know. I always, you know, ask myself what I don't know, what people know better than me, what what value? Hire people that are smarter than you in what they do.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

And you saw the same thing with Grant. The moment he was honest about what he was carrying, his team lifted him and the whole industry rallied. So, two questions worth asking yourself. Who's your mentor this year and who are you bringing up behind you? Because asking for help goes two ways. Grant is still standing because at his lowest point, he let people in. The psychologist, his team, his wife, the people around him. Asking for help didn't make him any less of an operator. In fact, I know that after that episode, people have gained so much more respect from Grant, and I didn't think that was possible, but he's actually got a huge amount of respect by putting it out there and asking for the help that he needs. Part of why he's still it's part of why he's still here, and he now has the opportunity and is in a great spot to build the next thing. So wherever you are on your e-commerce career, think about how you ask for help. Don't wait for situations to get dire before you start doing it. Ask the question while you're still learning. Build the relationships while things are calm and check in on the people around you because we never really know what someone's carrying beyond the big numbers and the awards nights.

Mentors Community And One Weekly Ask

SPEAKER_00 14:44

Help can go both ways. If you want somewhere to start building that network before you need it, that is exactly what the Ad to Cart community is for. There are more than 700 e-commerce operators asking each other the real questions every day. No one looks silly, no one has silly questions. You can join for free over on AdDocart. That's it for the that's it for the playbook this week. If you do one thing from here, just ask someone for help this week. I'll see you next Friday.